WASHINGTON - The Bush administration says two trailer trucks found in Iraq are "positive proof" that Saddam Hussein was producing biological weapons, although no trace of biological agents was found in them.
I'm sorry, but "no trace of biological agents found in Iraq" is not news. It's common knowledge.
The CIA released a six-page report concluding the only logical purpose for the equipment in the trailers is to produce biological weapons agents.
Oh, well, if the CIA says it, it must be true. All this is is "positive proof" that George W. Bush and his cronies are lying, murderous, thugs. As if we needed more proof of that...
Friday, May 30, 2003
Five on Friday:
1. What do you most want to be remembered for?
Being a better man than George W. Bush.
2. What quotation best fits your outlook on life?
Oi! Thump.
3. What single achievement are you most proud of in the past year?
Not dying.
4. What about the past ten years?
See above.
5. If you were asked to give a child a single piece of advice to guide them through life, what would you say?
Oi! Thump.
1. What do you most want to be remembered for?
Being a better man than George W. Bush.
2. What quotation best fits your outlook on life?
Oi! Thump.
3. What single achievement are you most proud of in the past year?
Not dying.
4. What about the past ten years?
See above.
5. If you were asked to give a child a single piece of advice to guide them through life, what would you say?
Oi! Thump.
Thursday, May 29, 2003
I almost forgot!! Today's Thursday Twiddler:
1. You are in charge of 100 people in imminent danger of death. The best way out will still mean that 10 of them will be left behind, to die in a fairly ghastly manner. Would you make the choice as to who those ten would be, or would you draw lots. And, in either case, would you include yourself in those who (possibly) would be left behind?
Now this is a hard one. I'd like to think that I would remain behind as one of the doomed 10 (the others would, of course, be volunteers, or chosen by lot if necessary), keeping a stiff upper lip and bucking up the spirits of those who are to die with me. A movie of the week would follow... However, I'm going to get all semantical (is that a word) here and point out that the question makes mention of the best way out, not the only way out, and therefore I'd keep looking for an escape plan that could, even if it was a remote chance, allow everyone to survive.
2. You fire an incompetent employee, who then files a hefty wrongful discharge suit. The charges are bogus, but the court case will be long, time-consuming, and expensive. Would you settle out of court? If you knew that you were eventually certain of (costly) victory if you didn't settle, would you anyway?
I'd just shoot him. Who would suspect?
3. What is something you enjoy that is a chore for most people?
Oddly enough, putting things in alphabetical order. I don't know why I enjoy it (probably a wee touch of OCD), but I do.
1. You are in charge of 100 people in imminent danger of death. The best way out will still mean that 10 of them will be left behind, to die in a fairly ghastly manner. Would you make the choice as to who those ten would be, or would you draw lots. And, in either case, would you include yourself in those who (possibly) would be left behind?
Now this is a hard one. I'd like to think that I would remain behind as one of the doomed 10 (the others would, of course, be volunteers, or chosen by lot if necessary), keeping a stiff upper lip and bucking up the spirits of those who are to die with me. A movie of the week would follow... However, I'm going to get all semantical (is that a word) here and point out that the question makes mention of the best way out, not the only way out, and therefore I'd keep looking for an escape plan that could, even if it was a remote chance, allow everyone to survive.
2. You fire an incompetent employee, who then files a hefty wrongful discharge suit. The charges are bogus, but the court case will be long, time-consuming, and expensive. Would you settle out of court? If you knew that you were eventually certain of (costly) victory if you didn't settle, would you anyway?
I'd just shoot him. Who would suspect?
3. What is something you enjoy that is a chore for most people?
Oddly enough, putting things in alphabetical order. I don't know why I enjoy it (probably a wee touch of OCD), but I do.
I just went upstairs to the Tim Horton's to fuel up for the afternoon push (we'll see how long that lasts), found myself grinning like an idiot at an unbelievably cute young lady up there, and got busted by her. She smiled back, rather than, say, calling the cops or pepper-spraying me, which is good.
This day is turning into extreme boringness. There's not much going on in world today - apparently Canada is going to be running the G8 conference coming up in France and Switzerland, which should lead to much improvement of U.S.-Canada relations (time will tell whether I'm being sarcastic). George Bush, or course, is already making a pillock of himself, as he will be gracing the conference for less than a day, before he heads off to help de-stabilize the Middle East. In far more important and interesting news, there is a rumour floating around that the next season of Enterprise will feature romance between T'Pol and Captain Archer...
Wednesday, May 28, 2003
First the D&D movie sequel, now this...
LOS ANGELES - Canadian teen singer Avril Lavigne's hit single about a teenage girl who rejects a skater boy is to be adapted into a feature film.
Paramount Pictures has hired ER writer/producer David Zabel to adapt the words of the song "Sk8ter Boi" into a movie, according to the Hollywood Reporter.
Well, why not? Just about everything else has been turned into a feature film, and at least this flick comes with something vaguely approximating a plot. I actually surprised myself by not being able to come up with the expected level of cynicism over this one. It doesn't sound like it's going to be the standard sort of pop music movie, i.e. an thinly-veiled excuse for the artist to play as many of her songs as possible in a two-hour time period. However, it will probably make a lot of proto-punk teenage girls happy, and the message is better than a hell of a lot of what's being tossed at the world's youth these days. And yes, there's a decent chance that by any any real critical criteria the movie itself is going to be execrable, but it's not going to be any worse than what Adam Sandler (for just one example) is capable of on any given day.
Lavigne's writing team Matrix - Scott Spock, Lauren Christy and Graham Edwards - who co-wrote the song, will act as consultants on the screenplay.
They will also produce the movie soundtrack.
Hey, I think I guessed what one of the songs from the soundtrack is going to be! Aaaah, there's the cynicism...
LOS ANGELES - Canadian teen singer Avril Lavigne's hit single about a teenage girl who rejects a skater boy is to be adapted into a feature film.
Paramount Pictures has hired ER writer/producer David Zabel to adapt the words of the song "Sk8ter Boi" into a movie, according to the Hollywood Reporter.
Well, why not? Just about everything else has been turned into a feature film, and at least this flick comes with something vaguely approximating a plot. I actually surprised myself by not being able to come up with the expected level of cynicism over this one. It doesn't sound like it's going to be the standard sort of pop music movie, i.e. an thinly-veiled excuse for the artist to play as many of her songs as possible in a two-hour time period. However, it will probably make a lot of proto-punk teenage girls happy, and the message is better than a hell of a lot of what's being tossed at the world's youth these days. And yes, there's a decent chance that by any any real critical criteria the movie itself is going to be execrable, but it's not going to be any worse than what Adam Sandler (for just one example) is capable of on any given day.
Lavigne's writing team Matrix - Scott Spock, Lauren Christy and Graham Edwards - who co-wrote the song, will act as consultants on the screenplay.
They will also produce the movie soundtrack.
Hey, I think I guessed what one of the songs from the soundtrack is going to be! Aaaah, there's the cynicism...
Tuesday, May 27, 2003
I found the initial link for the item below on this excellent blog, and thus it become the first item in TVFOH's comprehensive list of other people's blogs that I like to keep up on. Hooray!!
By Steve Levin, Post-Gazette Staff Writer
A nationwide e-mail campaign against the local Make-A-Wish Foundation has been organized by a family values organization that claims the Pittsburgh chapter accepted donations from "pornographic programs" during a recent comic book convention.
.
.
.
The e-mail campaign was organized by the nonprofit American Family Association, formed in 1977 by the Rev. Donald E. Wildmon to promote traditional family values in the news media. The association's Web site (www.afa.net) provides links to both the national and local Make-A-Wish foundations in its Action Alert section under the headline: "Make-A-Wish defends chapter's porn convention proceeds."
Oh this is just charming. I knew the AFA people were scum, but attacking an organization that helps terminally ill children is low even for them. They ought to be ashamed of themselves, but all know they won't be, as people like that have permanently lost the ability to feel shame, contrition, responsibility, or pretty much anything except spite and bile. However, a quick look at their website did give me one good chuckle:
Three and a half years ago, Iowa Family Policy Center (IFPC) helped convince Kum & Go convenience store owners to remove hard and soft-core pornography from their 313 convenience stores. At the time, Kum & Go said their "corporate moral ethos" prevented them from selling such material any longer, but now it's back. Despite the avalanche of phone calls they have received from Iowans who have asked them to take it back out, Kum & Go continues to sell pornographic magazines in their stores.
You know, I can't imagine not being able to buy porn in a place that calls itself "Kum & Go."
A nationwide e-mail campaign against the local Make-A-Wish Foundation has been organized by a family values organization that claims the Pittsburgh chapter accepted donations from "pornographic programs" during a recent comic book convention.
.
.
.
The e-mail campaign was organized by the nonprofit American Family Association, formed in 1977 by the Rev. Donald E. Wildmon to promote traditional family values in the news media. The association's Web site (www.afa.net) provides links to both the national and local Make-A-Wish foundations in its Action Alert section under the headline: "Make-A-Wish defends chapter's porn convention proceeds."
Oh this is just charming. I knew the AFA people were scum, but attacking an organization that helps terminally ill children is low even for them. They ought to be ashamed of themselves, but all know they won't be, as people like that have permanently lost the ability to feel shame, contrition, responsibility, or pretty much anything except spite and bile. However, a quick look at their website did give me one good chuckle:
Three and a half years ago, Iowa Family Policy Center (IFPC) helped convince Kum & Go convenience store owners to remove hard and soft-core pornography from their 313 convenience stores. At the time, Kum & Go said their "corporate moral ethos" prevented them from selling such material any longer, but now it's back. Despite the avalanche of phone calls they have received from Iowans who have asked them to take it back out, Kum & Go continues to sell pornographic magazines in their stores.
You know, I can't imagine not being able to buy porn in a place that calls itself "Kum & Go."
Monday, May 26, 2003
GABORONE, May 25 (Reuters) - Botswana goalkeeper Modiri Marumo was sent off during a penalty shootout for striking his opposite number during Malawi's Cosafa Cup quarter-final win on Sunday.
Marumo was beaten by the first three kicks taken by Malawi and lashed out at opposing keeper Philip Nyasulu, who had attempted to give him a conciliatory pat on the back of the head.
Lesson #1 in how to become very very unpopular with your team-mates. Has anyone ever heard of a sending off during a shoot-out?
Marumo was beaten by the first three kicks taken by Malawi and lashed out at opposing keeper Philip Nyasulu, who had attempted to give him a conciliatory pat on the back of the head.
Lesson #1 in how to become very very unpopular with your team-mates. Has anyone ever heard of a sending off during a shoot-out?
Lame Moments in Sports #2
Annika Sorenstam misses the cut at the Colonial. Yes, I know this has been done to death already, but now it's my turn. Sorenstam's missing the cut is not lame because it indicates that she can't play with the guys. It doesn't. It's not lame because it indicates that the LPGA in general can't give Sorenstam a challenge. It doesn't do that either. It's lame because it took a classy, talented, althlete, performing under tremendous pressure and in the face of some of the worst sportsmanship ever, and did not give her a happy ending. Instead, it let morons like Fulton Allem wander around thumping their chests while relief oozed from every pore on their bodies.
Ah yes, Fulton Allem. "The golf gods don't lie," he said, or words to that effect, when informed of Sorenstam's failure to progress to the third round. In that spirit, I though it might be interesting to examine exactly what the golf gods have to say about Allem. Let's see here... Well, they say he hasn't won a PGA tournament since 1993, which was also coincidentally the last time he placed in the top 100 (yes, one hundred) on the money list. And was also the last time he finished in the top three in a tournament. He's scrabbled a handful of top-10s since then, but none of those since 1998. He hasn't made half the cuts in a season since 1996. He's two for nine on making the cut so far this year, and is averaging 74.18 strokes a round, one-and-a-half strokes worse than Sorenstam's PGA average. In short, the golf gods say that the only reason anyone in the golf community is going to remember Fulton Allem is because of his being a shithead one fine May weekend late in the twilight of a career that defined the word "unspectacular."
Annika Sorenstam misses the cut at the Colonial. Yes, I know this has been done to death already, but now it's my turn. Sorenstam's missing the cut is not lame because it indicates that she can't play with the guys. It doesn't. It's not lame because it indicates that the LPGA in general can't give Sorenstam a challenge. It doesn't do that either. It's lame because it took a classy, talented, althlete, performing under tremendous pressure and in the face of some of the worst sportsmanship ever, and did not give her a happy ending. Instead, it let morons like Fulton Allem wander around thumping their chests while relief oozed from every pore on their bodies.
Ah yes, Fulton Allem. "The golf gods don't lie," he said, or words to that effect, when informed of Sorenstam's failure to progress to the third round. In that spirit, I though it might be interesting to examine exactly what the golf gods have to say about Allem. Let's see here... Well, they say he hasn't won a PGA tournament since 1993, which was also coincidentally the last time he placed in the top 100 (yes, one hundred) on the money list. And was also the last time he finished in the top three in a tournament. He's scrabbled a handful of top-10s since then, but none of those since 1998. He hasn't made half the cuts in a season since 1996. He's two for nine on making the cut so far this year, and is averaging 74.18 strokes a round, one-and-a-half strokes worse than Sorenstam's PGA average. In short, the golf gods say that the only reason anyone in the golf community is going to remember Fulton Allem is because of his being a shithead one fine May weekend late in the twilight of a career that defined the word "unspectacular."
Friday, May 23, 2003
Continuing with the theme of geekiness, I went and saw The Matrix: Reloaded last night, and it's definitely worth a look. Although the concept no longer seems quite so interesting (duh - it's a sequel) and the plot is pretty much a standard love-story/sci-fi-action romp type of deal, it is easily visually pleasing and stylish enough to make it fun.
Hurrah! Word is, there's going to be a sequel to the D&D movie!!! Awesome!! Remember in the first one, when the Wayans guy died, and the other guy, the one who was in the Superman show, threw his head back and screamed "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!" to the uncaring audience? Remember when the same guy announced the finding of the entrance to the dungeon with the deathless line "Here's the entrance to the dungeon"? Remember Jeremy Irons on some sort of bizarre PCP high? Remember the tense scenes in "the maze," a diabolical arrangement of three rooms in a straight line? Remember the completely incomprehensible ending, with all the characters turning into Tinkerbell clones and flying away (oops, sorry, that was a spoiler). Remember? And now they're going to do a sequel!! This is the best news I've heard all day!!!
Ok, this is garbage. A big slap upsides the head to anyone who even thinks about spending their hard-earned money on this sort of crap.
This week's Friday Five:
1. What brand of toothpaste do you use? Crest
2. What brand of toilet paper do you prefer? Last year's phonebook (kidding. Kidding!!!)
3. What brand(s) of shoes do you wear? Docs
4. What brand of soda do you drink? Coffee
5. What brand of gum do you chew? I don't usually, but whatever happens to be at hand, I guess.
1. What brand of toothpaste do you use? Crest
2. What brand of toilet paper do you prefer? Last year's phonebook (kidding. Kidding!!!)
3. What brand(s) of shoes do you wear? Docs
4. What brand of soda do you drink? Coffee
5. What brand of gum do you chew? I don't usually, but whatever happens to be at hand, I guess.
Thursday, May 22, 2003
BERKELEY, CA—Nineties punk Drew Tolbert, 29, expressed scorn Monday for the punks of today, denouncing them as "phony poseurs unworthy of the word 'punk.'"
Brilliant stuff from The Onion this week. This whole article, in addition to making me laugh out loud, caused me to think back on the many pointless debates I've engaged on the topic "What is Punk?". For the sake of my sanity, I declared a personal moratorium on the argument a few years ago, deciding in the end that 'Punk' meant whatever you wanted it to, but I'm well aware that the debate goes on certain quarters. Usually, the debate over whether a band is 'punk' begins at roughly the moment when the band's video first appears on Muchmusic (or MTV, or what-have-you), and continues until entropy has ended the faint quivering of the last atom in the universe. This is because people are going about the argument from the wrong end. The question, rather than "What is punk?" should be "What is not punk?". And therefore, with great pride, I bring the first installment of the Big List of Things That Are Not Punk. Submissions are welcome.
These Things Are Not Punk!!
1. Post-It Notes
2. Bright copper kettles
3. Hallmark cards
4. Christine Aguilera (this is too easy!)
5. Authors who rip off Tom Clancy
6. Tom Clancy
7. Blink 182
8. Anybody, and I mean anybody, who reads Maxim magazine for any reason.
9. Voting for the Canadian Alliance
10. Incorrect use of the word 'patriotism.'
11. Reality TV (did I mention that this is easy)
12. Several types of food (I'm not saying which ones).
13. That drunk guy in the pub who insists on telling you his life story.
Let me stress that this is only a preliminary list, but it is a start, and you are now much wiser!
Brilliant stuff from The Onion this week. This whole article, in addition to making me laugh out loud, caused me to think back on the many pointless debates I've engaged on the topic "What is Punk?". For the sake of my sanity, I declared a personal moratorium on the argument a few years ago, deciding in the end that 'Punk' meant whatever you wanted it to, but I'm well aware that the debate goes on certain quarters. Usually, the debate over whether a band is 'punk' begins at roughly the moment when the band's video first appears on Muchmusic (or MTV, or what-have-you), and continues until entropy has ended the faint quivering of the last atom in the universe. This is because people are going about the argument from the wrong end. The question, rather than "What is punk?" should be "What is not punk?". And therefore, with great pride, I bring the first installment of the Big List of Things That Are Not Punk. Submissions are welcome.
These Things Are Not Punk!!
1. Post-It Notes
2. Bright copper kettles
3. Hallmark cards
4. Christine Aguilera (this is too easy!)
5. Authors who rip off Tom Clancy
6. Tom Clancy
7. Blink 182
8. Anybody, and I mean anybody, who reads Maxim magazine for any reason.
9. Voting for the Canadian Alliance
10. Incorrect use of the word 'patriotism.'
11. Reality TV (did I mention that this is easy)
12. Several types of food (I'm not saying which ones).
13. That drunk guy in the pub who insists on telling you his life story.
Let me stress that this is only a preliminary list, but it is a start, and you are now much wiser!
This looks like fun... Here's this week's Thursday Thumb-Twiddler. I don't know if I'll make doing these Q&A things a regular practice, but I'll do some from time to time at least.
1. If the President called up and said that he'd do his darnedest to implement any one policy or program you chose, what would
you choose?
Reading "Prime Minister" for "President"... I'd require every Canadian schoolchild to learn not only English and French, but Gaelic and at least one aboriginal language too. Albertans would be required to learn Chinese as well.
2. Is there scientific knowledge best left undiscovered?
Yeah - the knowledge of what happens when you crack an atom. Whoops, too late.
3. If you could proclaim a new national holiday, what would it be and how would we celebrate it?
I'd institute "Party in Iqaluit Day." Attendance would be mandatory.
1. If the President called up and said that he'd do his darnedest to implement any one policy or program you chose, what would
you choose?
Reading "Prime Minister" for "President"... I'd require every Canadian schoolchild to learn not only English and French, but Gaelic and at least one aboriginal language too. Albertans would be required to learn Chinese as well.
2. Is there scientific knowledge best left undiscovered?
Yeah - the knowledge of what happens when you crack an atom. Whoops, too late.
3. If you could proclaim a new national holiday, what would it be and how would we celebrate it?
I'd institute "Party in Iqaluit Day." Attendance would be mandatory.
'Vive la France! Vive le Canada!' hails PM
OTTAWA - Prime Minister Jean Chrétien says France and Canada must work together to restore trust with the United States after recent tensions over the war in Iraq.
Hmmm. This probably won't go over very well in Washington, land of the Freedom Fry. I wonder what Paul Cellucci thought of it all. Oh wait, there's more...
Most of the remarks at the state dinner were in French, and at least one VIP in attendance, American ambassador to Canada Paul Cellucci, might have missed most of what was said.
Awesome!! The U.S. ambassador, who just a few days ago was rumbling on about the deep friendship between the U.S. and Quebec, apparently doesn't speak French, and yet sat through an entire state dinner without being able to understand the speeches! Think of all the fun that could have been had!
OTTAWA - Prime Minister Jean Chrétien says France and Canada must work together to restore trust with the United States after recent tensions over the war in Iraq.
Hmmm. This probably won't go over very well in Washington, land of the Freedom Fry. I wonder what Paul Cellucci thought of it all. Oh wait, there's more...
Most of the remarks at the state dinner were in French, and at least one VIP in attendance, American ambassador to Canada Paul Cellucci, might have missed most of what was said.
Awesome!! The U.S. ambassador, who just a few days ago was rumbling on about the deep friendship between the U.S. and Quebec, apparently doesn't speak French, and yet sat through an entire state dinner without being able to understand the speeches! Think of all the fun that could have been had!
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