Millwall downs Gravesend; Premiership Trembles in Collective Boots

Yes, the new (pre-)season is underway, and Millwall are 1 for 1. The final was 3-1, with goals from Elliott and Cogan, neither of whom I've ever heard of, and Phillips.

Crisitunity Knocks!!!

So the head coach of the womens' soccer team form which I am the goalkeeper coach has been canned. Now, there is some tradition that when such a thing happens the assistant coach walks the plank as well, and I believe that the ex-head coach, also a good friend of mine, expects me do just that. However, I'm a bit reluctant to do that. For one thing, in a phone call yesterday, the team's keeper asked me to continue working with her. For another, the firing had absolutely nothing to do with the team's performance (although they're not having a banner year), but with the coach's attitude and language towards some of the players. So what, you say. Well, if I do say so myself, the problems that got the coach fired are not ones that I have ever had with a team, whether playing or coaching, and I don't feel good about losing my position because of such problems, even by proxy. And lastly, I'm having a good time and actually (again, if I may blow my own horn) doing a lot of good for the team's goalie. So I'm mulling over in my mind how to go about this... More bulletins as events warrant.

Lame Moments in Sports #6

Limbaugh will be voice of fan on ESPN NFL show
ESPN.com

National talk radio personality Rush Limbaugh will join ESPN's Sunday NFL Countdown to provide the voice of the fan and to spark debate on the show, the network announced Monday.

Is there anything going on the sports world right now that is not lame? After the resounding success of Dennis Miller on Monday Night Football (Someday get me started on Dennis Miller, but not today), ESPN falls on its collective head and picks up Rush Limbaugh. What's next? Michael Savage (I hear he's unemployed right now!) on Sunday Night Baseball? Ann Coulter doing LPGA commentary? The mind boggles. Here's my prediction: ESPN gets a brief ratings hike for NFL Countdown at the beginning of the season. After about week three, people start to realize that Rush is a) boring and unpleasant and b) completely ignorant on matter football-related (his vaunted experience selling baseball(!) tickets notwithstanding). After that, FOX and CBS enjoy higher ratings for the rest of the season. We shall see.

Lame Moments in Sports #5

UEFA announces radical changes

Associated Press
7/10/2003

NYON, Switzerland (AP) - European soccer's governing body announced radical changes Thursday to the format for the UEFA Cup tournament, introducing a group stage into the competition.

It used to be so simple. If you were champions of your league, you went into the Champion's Cup, where you played home-and-away ties until there were only two teams left, who played one game against each other for the Cup. If you won the cup, you went into the Cup Winner's Cup, and the process was the same. And, if you did neither, but were still a pretty decent team, it was off to the UEFA Cup with you, and once again it was a simple knock-out competition to the final. And then UEFA decided to get complex. Anyway, I'd better not hear any more complaining from the European football associations about teams playing too many games...

So I'm typing this up (finally) on my new computer here at the bookstore! It's very nice - 17" flat-screen monitor with a lovely desktop image of a world map showing the time zones. I feel like I work at NORAD. Anyhoo, the new computer didn't really want to get set up; for a while it flat-out denied any knowledge of the main server, which was problematic. However, we are now friends. I did have to find a new home for my plastic cobra, which used to adorn the top of my monitor, but the new machine's tower has a raised lip along the top of it, and the snake now peers raffishly over the top of that. Oh, and the mouse on this computer seems to work, which is a novelty.

Naomi Klein is cool; here she's reviewing recent Chretien legislation that has annoyed the Bushites (gay marriage, de-criminalized marijuana etc.) and offering some words of warning about getting too excited about our new-found 'independence.'

Well, whaddya know...

Bush wrong on Iraqi nuclear weapons
Last Updated Wed, 09 Jul 2003 10:33:15

WASHINGTON - Washington has admitted that a claim President George Bush made in January about Iraq's weapons programs was wrong.

In his state of the union message, Bush tried to convince Americans and the rest of the world that Saddam Hussein's regime was a threat because he was developing a nuclear weapons program.

"The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa," Bush said in January.

That statement was based on correspondence between officials in Iraq and Niger that are now widely accepted as forgeries.

Yeah, but we've only known for four flippin' months that they were forgeries... I wonder at this stage what exactly made the Bushites come clean. I'd like to think that it was the growing public wave of disgust with this type of conduct, but given that that's non-existent, I'm thinking that the more likely explanation is simply that the lie had held on long enough, and allowed Bush&Co.'s goals to be realized.

An official with the CIA was sent to Niger to investigate whether Iraq tried to buy uranium from the country.

The official reported back that it was highly doubtful such a transaction ever took place.

The official said the office of U.S. Vice-President Dick Cheney would have received that report.

The claim made it into the state of the union address anyway, and many in Washington are asking how that could have happened.

Anyone in Washington who's sincerely "asking how that could have happened" is out-of-touch to an unprecedented degree. Now, can someone down there please show a little bit of spine and impeach that asshole? Pleeeeeeeze? This whole situation is mightily redolent of this one...

Well, we'll try this again. There have a few little posting problems today, plus I'd hoped by now to be typing this on my new work computer (with 17" flat-screen monitor, as opposed to the 15" Eyescorcher1000 that I've got now!), but no such luck. Maybe tomorrow...

It's big, it's bad, it's full of teams you've never heard of, it's the UEFA Cup Qualifying Round!!!!! My picks are in bold as usual.


AIK Stockholm (Sweden) v Fylkir (Iceland)
Vllaznia Shkoder (Albania) v Dundee (Scotland)
Levadia Maardu (Estonia) v NK Varteks (Croatia)
Santa Coloma (Andorra) v Esbjerg (Denmark)
NK Zeljeznicar (Bosnia) v Anorthosis Famagusta (Cyprus)
Banants (Armenia) v Hapoel Tel Aviv (Israel)
OB Odense (Denmark) v Dynamo Minsk (Belarus)
Malmo (Sweden) v Portadown (Northern Ireland)
Dinamo Bucharest (Romania) v Metalurgs (Latvia)
Valletta (Malta) v Neuchatel Xamax (Switzerland)
Kaernten (Austria) v Grindavik (Iceland)
Viktoria Zizkov (Czech Republic) v Zhenis Astana (Kazakhstan)
Sarajevo (Bosnia) v Sartid Smederevo (Serbia and Montenegro)
APOEL Nicosia (Cyprus) v Derry City (Ireland)
Litex Lovech (Bulgaria) v Zimbru Chisinau (Moldova)
Neman Grodno (Belarus) v Steaua Bucharest (Romania)
Etzella Ettelbruck (Luxembourg) v Kamen Ingrad (Croatia)
Manchester City (England) v TNS Llansantffraid (Wales)
Molde (Norway) v KI Klaksvik (Faroe Islands)
Farum (Denmark) v TVMK Tallinn (Estonia)
Ventspils (Latvia) v Wisla Plock (Poland)
MyPa (Finland) v Young Boys (Switzerland)
Vaduz (Liechtenstein) v Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk (Ukraine)
Coleraine (Northern Ireland) v Uniao Leiria (Portugal)
Groclin Grodzisk (Poland) v Atlantas (Lithuania)
Dinamo Tirana (Albania) v Lokeren (Belgium)
Cwmbran Town (Wales) v Maccabi Haifa (Israel)
Celje (Slovenia) v Belasica (Macedonia)
Cementarnica 55 Skopje (Macedonia) v Dospel Katowice (Poland)
Puchov (Slovakia) v Sioni Bolnisi (Georgia)
Red Star Belgrade (Serbia and Montenegro) v Nistru Otaci (Moldova)
Ekranas (Lithuania) v Debrecen (Hungary)
Birkirkara (Malta) v Ferencvaros (Hungary)
Haka Valkeakoski (Finland) v Hadjuk Split (Croatia)
Torpedo Moscow (Russia) v Domagnano (San Marino)
Atyrau (Kazakhstan) v Levski Sofia (Bulgaria)
Olimpija (Slovenia) v Shelbourne (Ireland)
RC Lens (France) v Torpedo Kutaisi (Georgia)
Brondby (Denmark) v Shirak (Armenia)
Petrzalka (Slovakia) v Dudelange (Luxembourg)
Runavik (Faroe Islands) v Lyn (Norway)

Some notes: First of all, the tie of the round is obviously the all-Balkan hookup between Sarajevo and Sartid Smederevo. No chance of crowd trouble at that one, no siree. Secondly, the name of the Armenian League runners-up, Shirak, is the same as the command word for Raistlin's light spell in the Dragonlance novels (See, you're much smarter now!).

PQ Gets Tedious over Vancouver Olympics Win

QUEBEC CITY - There is mixed reaction in Quebec to news that Vancouver will host the 2010 Olympic games.

Quebec City was trying to host the same games, but lost to Vancouver for the right to represent Canada.

Although Premier Jean Charest is congratulating Vancouver, the leader of the opposition isn't so charitable.

Parti Québécois leader Bernard Landry is using the Vancouver result to argue Quebec should be sovereign.

Landry says Quebec City could still have been on the ballot if it was an independent country.

So what Landry is saying is that the Quebec bid, which couldn't beat Vancouver's bid during the Canadian competition, would have been able to do so on the international stage? Is he saying that Quebec (the province and the city) should have spent a lot more money than they did to lose to Vancouver? I'm confused here.

Quebec City Mayor Jean-Paul L'Allier says the Vancouver result puts an end to any ambitions Quebec City had of hosting the Olympics.

Oh boo-hoo. There are a limited number of places in the world which can host a Winter Olympics, and Quebec City's chance will come around again. What the Vancouver result does put an end to is any hope Jean-Paul L'Allier had of being "The Man Who Brought the Olympics to Quebec City."

Cameroon's Foe dies after semi-final

LYON, France, June 26 (Reuters) - Cameroon midfielder Marc-Vivien Foe died on Thursday after collapsing during his country's Confederations Cup semi-final against Colombia.

Nothing more to say about this really. Very sad.

Lame Moments in Sports #4

Just go here and read the headline; that's all I have to say on the matter.

Millwall will host Oxford United in the first round of newly-renamed Carling Cup (Formerly the League Cup). Should be, and I can't over-emphasize the word "should", a fairly routine tie for the lions.

The Report Chokes on Own Bile, Dies Unlamented Death

Edmonton - A conservative magazine that was a fixture in the province and across western Canada for three decades is shutting down.

The Report, after stints as Alberta Report and Western Report, has put out its final issue.

Ya know, I remember when Alberta Report actually had status in conservative circles. Everybody knew the name Byfield, and the magazine provided ammunition for the right-wing side in many a fierce barroom debate during my undergraduate years. More, than once, Alberta Report was deemed significant enough to be satirized by The Gateway, the U. of A.'s student rag.

But it didn't last. People moved on, the issues changed, but the content of Alberta Report didn't, and its readership shrank as a result. Dwindling readership was accompanied inevitably by dwindling standards at the magazine, and, after unsuccessful attempts to re-brand itself as a national conservative publication, all that was left was the mouthpiece for a handful of disgruntled cranks - sort of a journalistic equivalent of the old guy on the porch screaming at the kids to get off his lawn. And so it has now passed away, and law of averages indicates the general tone of debate in this province should actually increase dramatically.

OK, here's the draw for the the first pre-semi-kinda-qualifying round for the 2003-4 Champions Cup. My picks are in bold.

1 Pyunik (Arm) v KR Reykjavik (Isl)

2 Sheriff Tiraspol (Mol) v FC flora (Est)

3 HB Torshavn (Far) v Kaunas (Lit)

4 Bate Borisov (Blr) v Bohemians (Irl)

5 Vardar (Mkd) v Barry Town (Wal)

6 Grevenmacher (Lux) v Leotar (Bzh)

7 HJK Helsinki (Fin) v Glentoran (Nirl)

8 Sliema Wanderers (Mal) v Skonto Riga (Lat)

9 Omonia (Cyp) v Irtysh Pavlodar (Kaz)

10 Dinamo Tbilisi (Geo) v KF Tirana (Alb)

Out of this lot, the team with the best chance right now of making the group stage is HJK Helsinki. Assuming they win through over Glentoran, they'll face MTK Hungaria FC in the second round. The best tie of this first round is probably going to be #10, between Dinamo Tbilisi and KF Tirana. The draw for the UEFA Cup has also been made, but I won't post predictions or anything like that until the Danish League has submitted its entrants.

Looks like I'm going to have to fix the archives on this thing again. Sigh.

Lame Moments in Sports #3

Manchester City will play Welsh side Total Network Solutions in the qualifying round for the UEFA Cup.

Ok, this is getting out of hand. There's actually a team out there called Total Network Solutions? What the Fuck? How the Hell are you supposed to support a team called Total Network Solutions? I mean... Total Network Solutions!?!?! "And, in the Champions Cup Draw, Aol.com United will play Sony in the qualifying round..." This is stupid.

Well, tons to get through today (including, Ta-Da, another Lame Moment in Sports). Lets start with the Friday Five:

1. Is your hair naturally curly, wavy, or straight? Long or short? Straight and short.

2. How has your hair changed over your lifetime? Heh. I seem to have less of it now.

3. How do your normally wear your hair? Pretty much shaved.

4. If you could change your hair this minute, what would it look like? It would turn into feathers, like the Andorians on Star Trek

5. Ever had a hair disaster? What happened? Nope, I've been fairly lucky in... OH MY GOD, IT'S FALLING OUT ALL OVER THE PLACE!! NOOOO!! COME BACK, HAIR, COME BACK FOR THE LOVE OF PETE!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!. Ahem, no.

TORONTO - Two U.S. military pilots who bombed Canadian soldiers in Afghanistan won't be prosecuted.

Well, this comes as a big surprise to nobody. The fix was in on this case pretty much from the beginning - partially because of the frosty relationship between our two countries' leaders, and partially because the U.S. military has an appalling record when it comes to taking responsibility for misbehaviour by its members (remember that cable car in Italy?). That said, I'm going to hold off on going completely apeshit about this until I hear what disciplinary measures the U.S. military brass does chose to impose.

Well, one week 'til Harry Potter & the License to Print Money is released on the suspecting public. We've got the machine-gun emplacements in at the bookstore, and the earthworks are nearly fully dug.

I confess that my opinion of the Harry Potter phenomenon is not cast in stone, but rather swings radically back and forth. On the one hand, it's fun to see kids actually picking up a book that is all words (and lots of them!) and enjoying it, as it flies in the face of much of the modern criticism of youth ("Short attention spans!" "Hooked on video games!" "Too much TV!"). I've read the first couple of books in the series, and, while they're not going to chase J.R.R. Tolkein from his place in the pantheon, they're enjoyable enough. On the other hand, it's going to be $46.95 (Canadian) for a children's book, and the hype is starting to drown out any possible literary benefit; kids, I fear, are starting to read the books not out of any enjoyment of them in and of themselves, but because it's Harry Potter and Harry Potter is cool.

Now, the funny thing about this whole situation is that there's a fairly decent chance that Canada Post will be on strike by next weekend, thus thwarting the devious aims of Amazon.com et al. and forcing people to actually walk to actual bookstores to get their copies, or wait however long it takes the strike to get resolved. He-he.